Hey ya’ll!!!!
Yes! As I let out a heavy sigh to release the feeling of being overwhelmed, I just gave y’all a big country hey y’all ????????.
The struggle
I’m writing this post because I have been struggling. This year has been one big ball of doing too much. But this month it all came to a head. Even the Holy Spirit was grieved asking me, “Kimberly, why are you trying to do all of this?”
Since the year started I’ve been so busy trying to build a business and be a girl boss that I forgot to enjoy the wedding planning process. I was running around trying to get security clearances for a new contract the day before I was leaving the country to get married. Was it the season for this? What was I doing?
As I contemplated what scaling back would look like my cousin sent me a text. Let me just say when my cousin texts me, I know my edges will get snatched because she’s always sending a question about Christ or a message about Christ. This time she sent me a podcast about Mary needing to adjust her expectations about life. From the podcast I gathered that it’s okay to adjust your goals and your expectations for life as seasons change, things change.
White Space Doesn’t Equal Lazy
The very next day I met with my life coach to discuss how overwhelmed and anxious I felt lately. As I shared with her the many projects on my list plus trying to settle in the new role of being a wife, she asked, “when are trying to complete all this by?” I was like NOW!!!! Then she asked the dreaded question, “is that realistic? Who said it all needed to be done now?”
After answering her questions, I realized I’ve been telling myself that having white space on my calendar equaled lazy. Taking a break meant I was stalling on my goals and not following through and I didn’t want to be a quitter.
It was in answering her questions that I realized I was in a new season. The season of being a new wife and that comes with its on balancing act. And I needed to take time to appreciate what God had joined together.
Clear My Calendar, Cancel Everything
I called my mom and cousin in tears when I got off the phone with my coach. In that moment, I had just decided to take a break from life as I had known it. I was going to simply focus on being a wife and working out (the stress of life was making me gain weight again, another post for another day).
If you’re an achiever like me you know this is extremely difficult. Coming home like what am I supposed to do now? No more business planning, no more lunches, no more blogging and podcast planning, …. just rest.
Seasons Change So Do Priorities
Thank God I’m free. As the month is coming to an end, part of me still feels like I should have been doing something but I feel good! I love my husband and we are laughing around the house like jovial children. I’m actually gaining clarity on what projects are priority. And most importantly I’m gaining clarity on who I am in Christ.
I have two more months of self-imposed rest and it feels freeing.
I’m grateful that God flashed the red stop signs and told me to relax. I’m even more grateful for the wisdom and understanding to know that I can pick things back up and still accomplish my goals with clarity when the time comes.
In this season I’m learning that taking a break doesn’t mean you’re lazy or you’re quitting. It’s just a break and even Jesus needed that.
Is This Your season of rest? What about shutting down shop makes you uneasy?
“The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”
Psalms 32:8 NLT